Weight

This post has been mulling around in my head for days. I have just been trying to figure out how I want to word it.

This week I hit a milestone. I have lost 70 pounds. Part of me wants to throw a party. The other part of me is worried about when the weight will stop coming off. To put this in perspective, I now weigh 10 pound less then when I got married 17 years ago, and I weight within 5 pounds of what I weighted in junior high
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Here is the history. When this first started over a year ago now, a big part of my diet was diet soda and sweets. They were what kept me going. One of the first things I gave up with the soda and items with sugar. What I did not know was that I was going to completely lose my appetite. Last year when this first hit I had a 6 week stint where I was barley functioning. I completely stopped eating. I can’t really describe it. I just didn’t want to eat anymore. Food became repulsive. I could hardly cook for my family. It did not take long before I hit rock. I finally got so I could force myself to drink an Ensure, but sometimes it took several hours to get it down. In those 6 weeks I dropped my first hunk of weight, 20 pounds. I gradually was able to eat again, but it is still forced most days. I don’t enjoy food anymore, but I do enjoy functioning so I eat.

Here is an interesting side note. I have seen lots of doctors and filled out lots of medically questioners this past year. All of them have had similar form of this question. Have you lost or gained 10 pounds recently? I would always check yes. Inevitably when we get to that point of the questionnaire the response is something like this. That is wonderful, keep up the good work. I have not had a doctor yet see this as a red flag. So my question to them is. WHY ASK?
The next 30 pounds were the scary part. I would get on the scale every morning. If got on the scale and I did not lose any weight I knew I would be able to function that day. If I gained a few pounds I would celebrate and convince myself I was finally healing and this was finally all over. Then there were the dreaded mornings when the scale would be 7 to 10 pounds lighter then the day before. I learned that that was my first clue that I was entering into the next 5 to 7 days of the unknown.. I would never know what the symptoms would be or how well I was going to be able to function. Life would just have to shut down and I would do damage control later. I now affectionately refer to those events as episodes. Those would be the days I would go from the scale to my knees and pray first that I was really not going to have another episode second to give me strength to endure whatever my body was about to put me through, and finally please guide me to someone who could possible figure out what is going on.

That brings me to another thought that I have spent time mulling over. The Lord does hear and answer our prayers. Just not the way we expect them. I cannot tell you how many prayers in my life have been about my weight. Just how many times I have pleaded for help to eat healthier and lose weight and to not be in bondage to food. For most of my life food has been a vice. I could have shot a video and been on The Biggest Loser. In one aspect my prayers have been answered. I am no longer in bondage to food, and I have finally lost weight. This is just not what I had in mind :D

That leaves the last 20 pounds. Those I can account for. One of the ways I keep my symptoms endurable is to watch what I eat. What I avoid is anything contains wheat, milk, or sugar in any form (including fruit) . I avoid wheat and milk because they are harder to digest and on seem to tax immune system. I already know my immune system is compromise so I am trying to be extra nice to it. If I eat sugar I can guarantee I am going to not feel well for the next several days. It could be I won’t be able to sleep, sometimes my heart with palpate, or I will be so tired I can’t function, I could have tingling in my feet and hands Just to name a few, I just never know. I do know it is not a blood sugar issue; The doctor have already done some testing and I played a lot with my dads glucose monitor. If I combine the three, let’s just say I have enough experience under my belt that no matter how good it tastes it is never worth it.

Once you remove all of those items from ones diet, there is just not much left. I can’t help but lose weight, but at least I know why I am losing it. I read that if you take all the refined foods from your diet that whole foods will taste better. That it true. Steamed beets and Brussels sprouts actually don’t taste so bad anymore.